sorry i dont think i can come to ur birthday party theres a rumor going around that u dont have wifi :/
mom: so how do you know this person?
me: *struggles to come up with plausible fake story instead of saying “on the internet”*
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
how about you turn your phone off and turn me on??